Lesley Youngblood

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Tales of Chaotic Good

This is our world. We can make it better. Here are a few ideas about how…Welcome to “Tales of Chaotic Good” -- stories about universal connection and the shifts that can help shape our collective future.

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Lurkers in Life

Posted by lyoungblood1500 on April 26, 2016 at 6:20 PM Comments comments (18)

A very dear friend once asked me what I wanted my legacy to be. I answered that I wanted people to know they could live the life they wanted to live, not just the life they were expected to live. I realized this week that I have been incredibly unfaithful to that mission. I stayed in a “safe” job for a decade, even though I knew it wasn’t the right place for me to grow and fulfill my purpose. It was the “smart” thing to do according to others. I was living the life I was expected to live. Damn. How disappointing.

So I took a few days to look more closely at why I’d strayed from my mission. Buried deep down inside was the root – a hidden sense of unworthiness. At the core, I didn’t feel that I deserved to have a turn at my own dreams.

Ummm…what?! Where did that come from?

I’ve accomplished a fair amount in my life, so I never realized these issues with self-esteem and worthiness were lurking about, sabotaging my efforts to move forward. But there they were, embedded from childhood and pernicious in their ever-broadening scope of influence over my life.

I talked to my counselor. I did research online. I read books about self-esteem and worthiness. Turns out, this isn’t an unusual phenomenon. In fact, it’s one of the most common limiting beliefs people have.

Most beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world are formed in the earliest years of our existence, most before our sixth birthday. This is a time when everything is taken in without the filter of experience to interpret its meaning. Understandably, things can get a little twisted up. Our brain does its best to make sense of events, converting them into rules of existence that follow us for the rest of our days. Trouble is, we seldom stop and re-examine these rules as we grow up and learn. Our model of ourselves and the world remains stuck in parameters defined by a six year old. Until, one day, we wake up and realize the world has changed, but our understanding of it hasn’t.

How do I break that streak? The techniques are as varied as human beings.

I’ve had a healthy and steady meditation practice for years. It’s gotten me through some incredibly difficult emotional times. But this was different. This was something specific from my past that was haunting my present. Meditation is about being in the moment, not clearing out the past. I needed something more focused.

Enter EFT, or tapping. I saw an online seminar about this technique and thought it looked a little hokey. You literally tap your fingers on meridian points in your upper body. At the same time, you talk to yourself - an open, vulnerable, honest conversation with yourself about how you are feeling. The idea is to create a safe space (that’s where the science behind tapping comes in) where you can hear, acknowledge, and validate your current emotions. For me, tapping feels something like a mother rubbing a child’s back at night to help them fall asleep. The rhythm is instantly soothing. And once the emotional heat is removed, your brain and body are more open to seeing your reality in a new way.

I don’t know if tapping is as effective for everyone. Certainly there is science to back up the process. But I think the most important point is to get acquainted with yourself – understand what rules you are living by and where they originated. Dig deeply into your perceptions of self, others, and world. Then you can begin to test techniques to find what works for you. And be open minded to any and all tools out there – no matter how hokey they may seem at first, if it works for you, embrace it fully.

Check out thetappingsolution.com to learn more about the science and practice of EFT.




Posted by lyoungblood1500 on April 14, 2016 at 9:25 PM Comments comments (0)

I’ve taken a piece from my own mission statement and taken a giant leap of faith to follow my advice.

Last week, I left a decade long job in the most corporate of corporate realms. Without net, or plan, I walked out -- and immediately felt better about my life. The truth is – I hated it. I hated the cubicle; I hated the direction the company had shifted; I hated being a cog in the corporate system which devalues people in favor of the bottom line. Mostly, I hated staring at the tiny puzzle pieces of my purpose and knowing I wasn’t playing any of them. Yes, I had managed to find outlets for my talents, a mutated way to fit the round peg of my artistic sense into an utterly square hole. But I was slowly dying inside. So, I quit.

It’s not a prospect I would normally recommend. My inner pragmatist made one hell of a good argument against such a rash move. But I knew the time had come to move on. So, now where?

Honestly, I don’t know yet. I’ve been so enmeshed in survival mode that my life’s true purpose was the furthest thing from my mind. And now, without the yoke of what I should do, I am left with the task of discovering what I want to do.

It’s incredibly exciting…and terrifying.

What if I can’t figure out my true path? What if I’ve subdued my talents and tendencies so long that they can’t be revived? What if I take a wrong step in a different but equally dismal direction? What if I find my bliss, pursue it, and fail?

I think sometimes, on our quest to find our purpose, we’re hoping that we can see all the steps, the path in its entirety all the way to the destination. But that’s not the reality. The reality is that our piece is more like a single piece of a giant puzzle - beautiful, mottled, and unclear until it fits into the bigger picture. Joe Vitale likes to tell a story of passing around a box of puzzle pieces at his seminars. Each person picks a piece from the box. By itself, the piece is … well, just a piece – incomplete, obscure, disconnected. But when all the pieces are assembled, each in its proper place and alignment, they create a beautiful piece of art.

I guess I am now officially on a quest to assemble my small piece of the global puzzle. Mind if I share it with you?


Uploading People

Posted by lyoungblood1500 on August 14, 2013 at 4:05 PM Comments comments (0)

Connection. In today’s modern technological world, connection seems to refer to the speed of our wi-fi, the quality of our cell signal, or the capacity of our internet. I like the sound of that second one: the quality of our signal. People really aren’t all that different from the technology we worship. We need connections too. Over the next few weeks I’ll be stepping outside my normal circle of friends to make connections with real, live human beings. Oh, not via Skype or email. I plan to do the unthinkable – I’m going to actually talk to people, live. This isn’t networking…I can fathom no monetary gain or political influence from these particular people. All I really hope to find is a sense of shared humanity, and a revival of connection. I invite you to join me in this experience. Talk to someone you might normally walk past. Find out who they are. See if your day brightens. See if you make a new friend. See how you feel when you place enough value on another human being to actually listen to their stories. See how your world view shifts.

Yoda wore Birkenstocks

Posted by lyoungblood1500 on June 4, 2013 at 8:25 PM Comments comments (1)

Think the tree-hugging hippies were just goofy? Well, now who’s laughing?

I admit it - I am a tree-hugger. I don’t mean that in some philosophical sense. I mean I actually hug trees. Often. Yes, I’ve picked up the random ant or critter, but it appears that’s not all I received in my random forays through the forest. A recent book called Blinded by Science by Matthew Silverstone, reveals much research into the maelstrom of vibrations and energy circulating throughout our world, including through our own bodies. Yep, that’s right. Old Ben Kenobi was right about the Force… it really does surround us, move through us and connect us to everyone and everything, including plants. It seems that, according to Silverstone (and at least one generation of tie-dyed, bell-bottom wearers), the vibrations emitted by trees and plants transfer to us mortals and alter our own internal vibrations. These alterations can change behavior, patterns of thinking, body functions, and even act as a restorative treatment for some mental illnesses. Uh huh… that’s right. Hugging trees is scientifically good for you. Bet it’s not bad for the tree either.



Posted by lyoungblood1500 on May 29, 2013 at 9:50 PM Comments comments (0)

Let’s start off with absolute honesty. I am a hypocrite. Umm…let me rephrase. I am far from a perfectly consistent being. For starters, I work as a commercial actress… a field that embraces and perpetuates every stereotype known to mankind. In fact, my profession covers pretty much every stereotype I abhor in my daily existence and campaign against in my personal life (It’s called acting). I represent myself to the world as a strong woman, which (for me) is to say that I play to my strengths, do what I know I’m good at, and keep staunch supporters close at hand any time I color outside the lines in a massive effort to cover over all of my manifold weaknesses. I am a vegetarian who recently ate fish – for dinner – last night (If you know that’s called a pescetarian, you get extra points. If not, join the crowd…but no one ever uses that term). So, I am consistently inconsistent. I say this as full-disclosure in launching this blog so that there is neither misrepresentation of the author nor expectation by the reader of finding a consistent message on these pages from one week to the next. I promise only to be honest in my opinions and retellings, and to be human. I think this important and only fair to recognize the inconsistencies we each live by. It is, after all, such an integral part of humanity, this being open to the ebbs and flows of our awareness and susceptible to the pulls of the moon. I open this initial blog entry by thus confessing.

For those of you who never played Dungeons and Dragons as a kid – and I send hearty condolences that you missed out on such an epic experience – you’re probably scratching your skull trying to figure what the heck “chaotic-good” means. Allow me to enlighten you…

When someone follows their own personal inner compass for the greater good, regardless of how society views them, that person is chaotic good. The chaotic good person follows his or her conscience with little regard for the opinions or expectations of others. He or she believes in goodness, fairness, equanimity, kindness and benevolence. But don’t be fooled… chaotic good folks have few compunctions about breaking rules, traditions, social mores, etc. in the pursuit of a better status quo for the world as a whole. These are the freedom fighters and free-spirits of our species. Remember the 60’s, when people protested against war, wore lots of corduroy, and thought folk music was cool? That was pretty much chaotic-good made manifest.

So, what’s that all got to do with this blog? For starters, this blog is written by a chaotic good being. You’ve already read about the chaos, now let me introduce you to the good.

In my four-plus decades on this planet, I have seen and experienced a great deal. I have helped babies be born and watched a beloved soul pass away from this life. I have felt the faint pulse of a heart re-starting under my hands; I have watched the sun rise across the Sinai Peninsula while huddled with kindred spirits from around the globe. I have touched the pyramid of Cheops and felt history course through my synapses. I have felt the inimitable power of horseflesh carry me through streams, camped with a sleepy bear in mid-winter, and been enraptured as my grandfather told miraculous tales. Hell, I even rode a camel named Sammy once. Aside from being a remarkably fun ride, my experiences have enriched my awareness and taught me that a few things remain to be done. Like winning a Stanley Cup in Philadelphia. Okay, maybe next year.

In the meantime, we all have some pretty heavy tasks to hand. Like breaking stereotypes starting with the ones involuntarily engrained in our own subconscious. Like loving our planet and caring for it as though it weren’t disposable. Like treating our own bodies and spirits with respect and gentleness. Like laughing and singing in a field full of golden wheat with the same abandon as you did when you were six. Like working for equality and beginning that work in our very own homes. Like valuing life and love above all, and fostering a willingness to stand up for those beliefs against the grain of the status quo. Like learning and understanding the other cultures, other religions, other perspectives we humans share. Like dancing until you understand how the whirling Dervish sees God. And that, my friends, is the good I hope to do with this blog. A shift in momentum away from the negative politics and vitriolic dialogue of our modern media. A giant leap away from complacence with what is, simply because it has always been. A movement of heart and mind toward a unifying, caring, equal view of our world and our fellows…and ourselves.

Welcome, All. Glad you joined me.